quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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