Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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