If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
