dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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