why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
