speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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