Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
