Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
