i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
