Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
