yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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