it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Boobs are out for the taking
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
