never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
