her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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