I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
be right there i have to get my cape
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
