Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
