Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
