i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
