is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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