It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
