omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
