If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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