I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize