Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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