He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
