Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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