I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
