Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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