Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
