I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
zippers are such a cool invention
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My ass is underappreciated
Randomize
