ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
