I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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