I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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