please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We have so much sex to catch up on
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
