Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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