stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
