bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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