Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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