i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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