peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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