It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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