no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
