New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
