If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize