so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
