I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
