Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
