i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
