...so i touched it.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
