Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Randomize
