If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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