When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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