I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
we made out on top of his cat.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
A+ Viking dick
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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