Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
