I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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