pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I need a beard to bite.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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