dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Someone came in the potted fern
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
